Our Stories

Glenn: After we dated and we knew we wanted to be together, Steven had a prenuptial agreement and that was that I had to come out to my family and that we were going to have a family. I thought the coming out part was the hardest part.
Steven: When we became parents, at first, my mother was apprehensive. She thought it would be unfair to bring children who had no say into a situation where they could be teased or ridiculed because they had gay parents. But once we had the boys, I think she saw that there was so much love and so many advantages that Glenn and I provided as a loving couple in the context of a loving family that she realized it was worth it.

[We] have been married since October 5th, 2008 and we’ve been together since 2004 of the same date, October 5th. I didn’t realize how emotional it was when Prop 8 passed. I think I just really want people to take a moment to think that, with that yes vote, they are taking away peoples’ happiness with that one vote. It’s not the same as saying, “Are we going to build roads?” when we don’t have money. We’re talking about people’s marriages, people’s families.

Polynesians are always seen as being big people in small groups -- minorities on campus or in the community. As in any group, there's a good number of Polynesians who are gay, so even being seen as a small group of people, to be gay within that group makes you even smaller. Feeling like a minority at times gets overwhelming because I'm usually the token Polynesian, or if I'm not the token Polynesian, I'm usually the token queer. From my perspective being gay has made me a stronger person because I have to make visible the invisible and give voice to the voiceless for the future to come.

As strange as it seems, because it’s still the same two of us and the love and commitment we’ve shared, you feel a strong family bond after you get married. My family has been accepting our relationship, but, right after our marriage, they accept her as part of the family. It’s amazing what legalize marriage can do you. I feel blessed.

We both were surprised and overwhelmed with the emotions of this small and private wedding ceremony. We had a knowledgeable and super-friendly Vietnamese American Orange County clerk perform the marriage ceremony and the South County office was brimming with happiness as about a dozen couples also lined up after us for marriages.

Yes, after nearly two decades together, a mortgage and a child, we’re legal. In years past, we laughed and cried and sang and danced as our sisters, Doug’s brother and lots of straight friends got married. But, as many friends told us, it’s different when it happens to you. Growing up, we never thought it could happen to us…that we’d have the chance to take that wonderfully affirming, age-old step ourselves. And now we’ve done it.

The issue of marriage equality is an important one to me. I know that, one day, my mom would love me to settle down with somebody I love. And, given the adversity I had to overcome as a child, where I had to suppress everything I was, I want to live in a world that treats me with dignity.

My husband John and I are newlyweds after 21 years together – happily married since our wedding this June. Exchanging vows surrounded by our family and friends was one of the happiest moments of our lives. Having my parents witness a second generation in our family attain the freedom to marry was especially meaningful, because of their experiences as an interracial couple.

The first time Andrew and I got "married," we were in a mortgage office where Andrew's cousin worked. It was March 2003 and we were there to get our domestic partnership notarized and take Andrew's cousin to lunch. The notary checked our identification and placed a red stamp on a document that both bound and protected our relationship.

... being legally married means that we no longer have to explain our relationship to others – introducing Larry as my husband is unambiguous and empowering.

I don’t feel protected in the sense that if something were to happen to Jeff, I would not be surprised if his parents cut me out in the sense of being able to see him at the hospital,” says Chin, whose own Chinese American family has been warm and accepting of the couple... First-generation Korean immigrants, Kim’s parents still struggle with their only son’s sexual orientation and acknowledging his relationship with another man.

Since when, in this land of the free and home of the brave, does our government take away people’s rights? Well, as it turns out… there are more precedents for this than we’d like to admit… and the parallel strikes particularly close to home for Asian Americans like myself. That’s why I am so passionate about this subject.

With a splash of Broadway and “Star Trek,” George Takei married Brad Alt­man, declared themselves partners for life in a moving ceremony at the National Center for the Preservation of Democracy in Little Tokyo on Sunday, October 14, 2008.

Twenty years ago, our then 20-year old daughter Valerie told us she was gay. As sansei from Hawaii, raised in a socially conservative Japanese American culture, Valerie’s announcement devastated us. At that time, we were woefully ignorant on issues of sexual orientation, including that being gay is not a choice. As part of that ignorance, we were saddened that we would never see our daughter get married or have a family.

At the time the news broke that the California Supreme Court had overturned the ban on same-sex marriage, Sab was filming in Canada. When we had our evening phone chat, I told him the good news and, the next morning, he called and asked me to marry him. We decided to go ahead with a civil ceremony as soon as possible.

At first, it seemed we personified the cliché of "love at first sight." But it became apparent that our immediate attraction was also based on deeply shared cultural traditions and history. Both of our parents were immigrants from the Toishan region of China and passed on the same family values and love of food to their children. For the first time in our dating lives we were able to bring home boyfriends who could speak Chinese to each other's parents -- that was the clincher!

Charlie and I live in Los Angeles City. We met 5 years ago at Charlie's birthday party. Our relationship solidified quickly and we moved in together 6 months after we first met. The strength of our relationship gave me the courage to come out to my mother. It took a few years, but when Charlie and I decided to have our commitment ceremony last year, my mother was fully supportive.

Family portraits are a big deal in Jennifer Lin's family. When her sister Sophia was getting married in 2002, they didn't include her partner Jeanne Fong in the picture. Jeanne and Jennifer had been together for a decade."It hurt a little but we didn't want to confront anyone," says Jeanne sitting in their sun-dappled Berkeley home, surrounded by family photos, while their Persian cats Shane and Paris napped in the afternoon sun...